Several weeks ago I attended the unveiling of a series of coffee vending machines, now being placed in hospitals, railroad stations, office buildings and factories, etc throughout the country. The machines, produced in Italy for local company, Mashkar, offer a host of different styles of coffee, ranging in size from the small espresso to a large mochaccino and in a variety of flavors including some in the taste of liqueurs, others with vanilla. The machines are also capable of dispensing hot chocolate, tea and even Middle-Eastern sachleb.
I marveled at several things, primarily that all of the coffees, even the so-called espresso, are made from instant coffee, and that the "liqueur flavored" coffees, including the "Irish Cream" have not a single drop of alcohol in them. More than that, however, I stood in awe as I realized that I judged the coffee from these machines to be completely lacking in any quality whatever. Simultaneously weak, watery and bitter, with a near absence of aroma, I cannot understand why anyone with any choice at all would bother to drink it.
After that tasting, I made my way to some public places in Tel Aviv, Haifa and Jerusalem that have coffee machines from other companies. I found some that produced coffee that was absolutely vile and others like those of Mashkar that gave out beverages that, although identifiable as coffee, had no other redeeming graces. I found not a single dispensing machine that yielded what I would judge to be an acceptable or good cup of coffee and could not help but wonder if the companies that produce these machines and then load them with instant coffee, that bubbles its way through plastic and rubber tubes before it makes its way to our plastic cups, have somehow forgotten that a gourmet coffee revolution is now sweeping the world.
After extended tastings from these machines, some of which are coin operated, others of which accept company identity cards, and others still can be coaxed to give forth their brownish beverages by dialing in with your cellular phone, I found only one sign of hope and that is that in most railroad stations, hospitals, bus stations and university recreational areas there is a real espresso machine nearby. I suppose those who reside in prisons have few options in the coffee they choose to drink. if one of those terrible places does not happen to be your temporary home, I strongly recommend passing these machines by with scorn and investing the few extra minutes and shekels in finding a cup of coffee that will actually give some pleasure. After all, these days it is simply not all that difficult to find a truly fine espresso bar.
Good, bad and Simply Silly
1. of all the products I sampled this week, only one series truly pleased me, and those were three of yeast cakes now being made by Lechem Erez. To be perfectly honest, I have a bias in favor of Erez, because since the moment he started producing his breads nearly five years ago, I have been constantly reconvinced that his are the tastiest, richest, most dense, most delicious and very best breads in the country. The three new recently released cakes, available in the branches of Erez throughout the country, are simple but perfectly made country-style delights. His Italian-style ricotta cake with orange juice and vanilla is at its best with long or short espresso; the crunchy povidil, with plums cooked in red wine and with added walnuts is probably best with a sweet dessert wine; and his poppy seed cake (made only on Friday mornings) is a good accompaniment to any coffee or brandy whatsoever and is so rich it is probably best categorized as sinful. most Israelis would say yeast cakes are best in the morning. But, believe me, they are no less delicious after dinner or at three in the morning. at about NIS 30 each, these delicious cakes are excellent value for money.
2. Telma's new "MayoKetch", impressed me as being one of the truly silliest products I have encountered in many a moon. Aimed primarily at a market of 14-18 year olds and said by the producer to resemble the sauces found on fast-food hamburgers, this pre-packaged blend of ketchup and mayonnaise comes in a flexible package with a nozzle that makes for easy "squirting" onto hamburgers, schnitzels or whatever else strikes the fancy.
Perhaps Telma is correct in what seems to be its assumption that teenagers have caught some odd disease that makes them incapable of mixing their own ketchup and mayonnaise, and perhaps there are even youngsters who want their ketchup-mayonnaise combination to come out of a tube looking oddly like toothpaste. someone should, however, tell the teenie-boppers that in addition to vegetable oil, water, tomato concentrate, sugar, vinegar, eggs, salt and spices (all of which are just fine with me), this product also contains taste and scent materials and enhancers, stabilizers, preservatives and antioxidants. Despite all of this I remain an optimist and continue to believe that those youngsters now downing literal tons of Big Macs will eventually develop a taste for the truly better things of life.
For a 500 gr. dispenser of MayoKetch the cost is NIS 11.90. me, I will continue to focus my own lust on 350 - 400 gram herbed hamburgers, charred on the exterior, pink inside, full of flavor and served with fine Dijon mustard or, should I like, a tad of home-made mayonnaise.
3.Call it black beer or root beer as you like, but I prefer to think of Tuborg's new non-alcoholic diet malt beer as unappealing by whatever name it goes. in addition to the water, malt proctose and carbon dioxide (which adds the bubbles) that most similar beverages contain, this version is made special because instead of sugar it contains assulsifam K and aspertime. I am the first to agree that the addition of these artificial sweeteners is in such a relatively small amount that they pose no health threat. my objection is that these sugar substitutes give this beverage a sweetness that I find intolerable and a bitter aftertaste that I find unacceptable. It is true this beverage has less than half the calories you will find in regular black beer (18 as opposed to 44 or 45 per 100 ml.) however, if malt beer is your passion and you want to be on a diet, I suggest drinking the regular stuff. Just drink half the amount.
Four bottles of 330 ml. cost NIS 12.