this is not the begining of my book. its in my first chapter but it isn't the begining.
"OH MY GOD!"
Adriana turned around in the heavily crouded parking lot to see who had shreeked so loudly. a girl flew into her and hugged her so tight it was nearly impossible to breath.
Adriana smiled warily and hugged her friend awkwordly. "hi, Julie." she managed.
Julie squeezed her one last time, as hard as she could, and took a step back to look at the friend she haden't seen for months.
"you look great!" Julie exclaimed. The last time she saw Adriana she was in a hospital, really messed up. Bruises covering her face and body covered in gouse.
she sighed and hooked her arm around the top of Adriana's stomach, Julie being more then three inches taller then her. "what did you do this summer, I want to hear all about it!"
Julie was always really bubly and happy. It took a lot to make her realize the grass was greener on the other side, or that the cup was half empty, or that a sixty-five percent was bad. That's what Adriana loved. she always had someone, other than Anthony, to make her see the brighter side of things.
"what do you mean there isn't an upside?! YOU'RE ALIVE!"
Adriana shook off the memory and walked to the front of the school with Julie, where, to her dreaded anoyance, everyone hung out.
The school was massive. It was actually built as a mall, and was then changed into a school. Granit halls and beautifully bright classrooms gave the school an aristocrassy feel. The school was complete with ultra-violet blue lights that lit up the glass sinks in the bathroom, and a large coffee house right at the main enterance.
People staired at them as they entered the school and took a right into the coffee house.
"Julie," a girl with platnum blonde hair called. "over here." she waved her hand, motioning for them to comence to the leather booths where heads were poping out from behinde it.
"Jen, I missed you!" she hugged the toothpick-skinny girl and sat down. Adrian stood, numbed from the looks.
not looks, gawks. People were gawking at her with open mouthes.
Julie patted the bergandy open seat next to her. "Sit,"
with caution Adriana sat and scooted over to make room for anyone else who wanted to sit. The cushens were less comefortable than they looked, and made and airy sound when she sat on it.
The whole group was silanced and right than, Adriana realized how this was going to be the longest, most terrible school year she would everencounter, and perhaps even worse then she had expected.
I could learn from you- you used an array of words that i've never though of. It was very good overall, check your spellings a little more and make sure that you have paragraphs in your book. Girl, you have potential!
Writing rules. :p
Very good.
I can see that you have some talent.
Good useage of puncation and a large vocablulary
wow, your amazing!
Woah, you're really, really good. Keep it up8)
--mk
i like the story so far. their are only some little grammatical and spelling errors you should fix, not that im one to talk. but ya its good. 
hey if you have time could you help me out?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
Hey, you helped me so I'm just repaying you. Great work, it's really creative and hooking. do you enjoy writting? have you ever thought of joining Fanfiction.net ? I think you'd be great on their, it's free, you just publish stories and people review it, there should be an FAQ around there, i wasnt keen on the idea when someone suggested it but now Fanfiction is my life, love writing and reading - there's some brilliant authors on there too that could give you inpiration for the rest of your story - if you just want to read then you dont have to join. Check it out sometime. Nice story, keep it up! 
That's good! It's really interesting, and it keeps you thinking. I'd like to know what happens next! Can you please tell us?
Help, please?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…